15 July 2020 2908

Are you jealous? Try to take advantage of it

We all compare ourselves to other people at different times in our lives. To succeed in a competitive world, we naturally compare our own progress with the success of others. And for those whose need for achievement is higher, constant comparison becomes a source of motivation and a way to set clear career goals.

Allow yourself to be envious, stop shaming yourself

A recent study shows that we are less envious of what has already happened than of what is yet to come. For example, when you hear that a colleague will be promoted to the position you were applying for in a few weeks, you will feel more envious than when you think about the promotions that have already taken place. And if you start "worrying about what you're going through," you'll turn a natural human emotion into a more painful self-loathing and shame.

Remind yourself that although you can't control the feeling of envy, you can definitely choose whether to feel shame about it or not. If you patiently allow yourself to feel envious of the situation and do not allow shame to increase its negative influence, you will gradually become easier.

Switch from comparison to curiosity

So that the comparison does not become destructive for you, think about why you have a desire to compare yourself with someone. And, without thinking about the fact that his success deprives you of chances for your own, analyze what this person's path can teach you.

By choosing to reflect on why I was comparing myself to my classmates, I soon felt a sense of excitement about my future career, which replaced self-criticism. And I realized that we all become successful in unpredictable ways, depending on the individual combination of effort, perseverance, resilience, and even luck.

Aim for those you envy, not distance yourself from them

It is difficult to be happy for those you envy, because you may have a fixed idea that they are better than you. And because envy of someone else's success is stronger the more similar our work is and the closer our relationship is, we often try to deal with this feeling by distancing ourselves from these people, instead of taking advantage of the relationship with them.

Considering people you envy as allies, rather than a threat to your goals, may be painful at first, but it turns out to be extremely beneficial for future success. If you avoid the people you compare yourself to, you may never know that these successful people may want to help you.

Consider your career as an investment portfolio, not as a position

When you evaluate yourself through the lens of your work, you doom yourself to disappointment every time someone passes you by. But by viewing your career as a diverse portfolio of investments of time and talent that you make to bring value to the world, you can protect yourself from the painful moments when you feel that you are not good enough at something, through activities in which you are superior to others.

At one time or another, we all compare our careers to those of other people. By following these strategies, when you are drawn into the comparison funnel, you can reduce discomfort and even make envy work for you.

The material was selected by Nikolai Merzlyakov.

A source: https://hbr-russia.ru/karera/lichnye-kachestva-i-navyki/834197

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